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The
following is but a very brief overview of my journey thus far...
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| Well I reckon it's time I sit down and write a little something, something here about me. As I endeavor to do so I'm listening to "Black Sabbath's Reunion" CD . Sadly the song "War Pigs" seems even more appropriate today than back in 1970 when the album was first released. It's all taking me back to my Rock and Roll roots, so I guess that's as good as any a place to start.. |
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| I've led a rather diverse life with numerous chapters along the way starting more or less in the 70's with an all out "Free Love, Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll life style". The 70's was a fantastic period of social transformation and a completely different era compared to today's. Inspired by the music of Led Zeppelin, Grand Funk Rail Road, Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix and The Doors I started playing drums at age 9 and by 16 was in the studio recording for various no-name musician's in Dallas where I grew up. Music was my life back then and Rock & Roll and drugs were two sides of the same coin. As a rock drummer I am mostly influenced by progressive bands such as Rush Genesis, Yes, and Emerson Lake and Palmer. But more than any other group Kansas' inspired me both technically and spiritually. The lyrics of Kansas' music were a direct mirror of my emotions and the spiritual perceptions I was experiencing at the time as a result of my regular use of LSD. Unlike most of my friends of that era I used LSD as a conscious tool to look deeper into myself and my place in the universe until 1977 when I had an intensely "BAD TRIP" which catapulted me into the dark side of the Akisic Records. |
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| After
that trip I was unable to relate to anyone or anything in the mundane
world of social normalcies. I became a hermit completely disconnected
from everyone I knew and all aspects of contemporary society. The
only place I found any sense of relevance or power was in my "asleep
time dreams". My dreams were lucid, intense, magical and
enlightening and I would sleep 18 hours a day consciously dreaming
myself into other worlds where I was able to fly through the cosmos,
do battle with demons, transcend all physical limitations and sit
in counsel with the sages of eternity. Whenever I'd awake I'd ask
myself - "what can I do in the physical world that can
possibly compare with the magical experience's I was having in my
dreams?" - Nothing... thus I would simply go back to sleep
and dream some more. After about a year of living in my dreams an
old musician friend invited me to join him in checking out a Kung
Fu school. At the time I had absolutely no Idea what Kung Fu was but
as I had been asleep for most of the day I decided to go with him.
The instant I walked through the school's doorway I knew I had found
something special that could motivate me. And so I entered the 2nd
Chapter of my life: the INTERNAL MARTIAL ARTS... |
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| After giving up Drugs, Ciggs and Booze cold turkey, I spent the next 5 years practicality a Taoist Monk. I was completely immersed in the study and practice of Kung Fu, Tai Chi, Ba Gua, Taoism, Yoga, Meditation, Nutrition, Healing and all the Eastern Mystical modalities that go along with that trip 24 / 7. As a Gemini, I tend to experience life as polar extremes, and the spiritual principles of Taoism combined with the physical disciplines of Nine Dragon Baguazhang made Kung Fu the perfect Art for me to balance out the ethereal modality I had previously been living via my obsession with the Dreamtime. I was in love with Kung Fu and studied intensely with Sifu Biff Painter for a number of years until one day in my Meditation I realized that for all my efforts I hadn't really dealt with my fears of "The Supernatural". Thus it started to become more and more apparent that a new path was on the brew. Enter Chapter 3: SHAMANISM... |
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| Selling every possession I owned; I then bought a VW Camper and went on the road alone for a year traveling The Great American West. While out there living in America's National Parks I discovered I had an intense love for the Native American Spirit and for the History of those People. I also fell in love with Taos and Santa Fe, New Mexico (which I still consider home). It was in Santa Fe that I met a Native American Medicine Man who required that "I deal with my own death" before he would "waste any of his energy on me". He instructed me on my "1st Rites Of Passage" by having me venture deep into the mountain forest where I spent many days and nights fasting in solitude and confronting my internal darkness, personal dogmas and my repressed fears of the unknown. Having survived this 1st of what was to become countless more such challenges, I then spent the next 6 years apprenticed to a Shaman with whom I was constantly traveling into countless Circles of Native American Ceremonials, Healings, SunDances, Pow Wows and various Workings in the Spirit World. To support myself during this period I became a "Very Specialized Artist" creating Ceremonial Artifacts for practitioners of the Native American Peyote World. As a result of these travels and my art, I was very fortunate to meet and work with a large number of diverse Medicine People, Shamans, See'ers and Elders Of Power and Wisdom from many different tribes; some of these people are very private and are exclusive to their reservations while others are more well known and out in the world such as Dahini Yawhoo... the Nagual Harley Swiftdeer... Wallace Black Elk... and SunBear. |
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It
was this Shamanic period which somehow led me into the next chapter
of my life which would ironically be the
HOLLYWOOD
MACHINE...
Ironic
because for 6 years I was living in an indigenous
world that is holy rooted in Spiritual Intent and Personal Integrity.
A world where the focus is on the Magick and Mysticism of
being a conscious part of the universe and our personal and collective
connection to the Sacredness of the earth and all
her children ( i.e., the plants, animals, rivers, the elements of
nature, and how one relates to all other human beings as children
of the Creator and an extension of the self). A world which
places no value on materialism whatsoever, but rather values
how one makes oneself of service to the extended tribe of humanity
in general. To have lived and experienced this mind set and social
environment so fully and then to venture into its complete opposite(Hollywood)
is I assume My Own Higher Self's way of tricking me into
finding balance with the world and times I find myself living.
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| I got to Hollywood by way of Santa Fe, where I found myself (quite by chance) working on Kevin Costner's epic feature "Wyatt Earp" (I guess having played with the Indians for so long I wanted to play a Cowboy) . Well one film led to another and to another and so on, until I was working full time as both Crew and Actor on a slew of Films and TV shows then being shot in Santa Fe. The Acting bug bit me (and having forgotten that "White Man speaks with forked tongue" I believed the various established players I was working with when they smiled and told me they would be happy to help me get connected into the world of feature film acting) and so In 1996 I moved back to Los Angeles to do just that... |
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| I 'd lived in L.A. before in the late 80's while studying with Harley Swiftdeer so returning there was no big deal. A Set Decorator I was working with had taken a shine to me and ushered me into I.A.T.S.E. 44 (the L.A. Film Union) as soon as I got to L.A. Since I'd already acquired my SAG Card, an agent and a semi-decent Acting Resume back in Santa Fe I felt I was thus ready to take on Hollywood... oh well... |
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| As
it turns out there's a vast difference between getting cast in acting
parts in New Mexico and competing with a million plus die-hard wannabe
actors in Hollywood. After a few years of playing the game I decided
I didn't care for the pretensive ass-licking one must go through to
get connected into the L.A. Working Actors circle, and so after
a bit of soul searching I let my interest in Acting go with no regrets.
I also began to lose interest in working the crew aspect of films
(my film crew resume) and
so I began to turn my attention to my life long hobby of Photography.
After about a year of shooting Headshots,
Weddings and Sex Stills on Porn Sets I was able to turn a part
time hobby into a full time Profession and to build myself my
own little studio - back lot. x |
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| Much
has happened since I last sat down here to write...
indeed a whole new chapter. After creating a comfortable level
of success for myself as a photographer I found myself desiring a
new level. Although I was doing quite well in my career as a photographer
I was completely unhappy with the overall superficiality that is
Los Angeles and was feeling more and more the absence of a Shamanic
Spirit as a result of my life there. Never could I have imagined
the way the Great Mystery would answer my internal hunger, yet such
is always the case. Without going into detail of the events that
then transpired I'll just say the outcome of those events was knowing
I could no longer allow myself to continue living in L.A. I really
had no idea where I was to go or what I would do, and thus as the
saying goes I found myself "On my knees"
that most humble place where one surrenders to the greater and allows
the Great Mystery to present the way. And so it was that I
quit my life as a photographer and journeyed into the desert where
for over 4 years I lived alone in the wilderness in self imposed -
self reflection. Having removed myself from all social distractions I've been able to reflect on the various aspects of contemporary society that I do and "do not" miss and to watch from a distance the absolute insane political events America is currently playing out. In many ways I feel as I imagine the American Indian must have felt when the white man first invaded this land, for I am currently witnessing the murder of the country I grew up in. From a Shamanic perspective I can only conclude the events of our present era to be but an escalated enforcement of mankind's desperate need of collective evolution, part of the eternal choreography of the Great Mystery. Light and Dark, Good and Evil, Life and Death, Suffering and Joy all required players on the stage of our experience whereupon the soul may be revealed unto the self. As a mirror of our humanity it is now for each of us to choose what role we take on. As for current events, I now work full time for Burning Man as Manager for their Pre-Production Ranch and Various Other Properties in Northern Nevada. The Ranch is located in a high desert wilderness area where there's nothing but nature and wildlife for as far as the eyes can see. I am very fortunate and very grateful to the BM organization for their trust in me. |
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Well
that about concludes this basic past to present for now...
new adventures as they develop. "Walk in balance". Click here to view my personal pics gallery...  |
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